Life and Work by Design Blog

As you pull up in front, you see this cute little garden abode with  flower boxes, rustic red barn wood siding and a quaint sign announcing The Yarn Cottage.    It’s part of The Red Brick Farm in Mayville, NY and actually used to be the milk house.

Susan Newman, the proprietor, told me that she knew she loved it the moment she found it and I know why.  It is small and cozy and yet open and bright at the same time.  I remember the first time I visited.  I entered the front door into a knitter’s haven filled with baskets of brightly colored balls, shelves of textured skeins, and displays of beautiful hand-knit sweaters, hats, shawls, mittens and booties everywhere I looked.   There are also a variety of shabby chic rockers and comfy chairs to sink into and a resident pup to play with when she’s in the mood.    

There was no one behind the small counter that day, but the sounds of laughter rang through the open door in the opposite wall and there, outside on the patio in the crisp early Spring sunshine, were three women sitting at one of those old-fashioned ice-cream shop tables in wire-backed chairs working on their individual projects and chatting away.   

They all smiled when they saw me, and Susan invited me to pour myself a cup of cider and join them out in the sun.  

Now I love yarn and all types of woven fabrics, and I’ve purchased both at lots of places, but I’ve never wanted to buy a skein and set of needles and sit right down and start in the very shop before! 

The Yarn Cottage is a place where the customer is Queen and Susan bends over backwards to make everyone feel welcome and at the center of her attention.  This is customer service not only with a smile, but with TLC in a warm, friendly, inclusive way that is hard to find in today’s world of chain stores and internet shopping.   

Since I am always on the lookout for good stories of people who have created some way to work that feeds their soul as well as their checkbook, I started asking some questions on a subsequent visit. In response she said, “if anyone had told me 5 years ago that I would be sitting here in my own yarn shop I wouldn’t have believed them.”   Well, that’s my kind of story so I made an appointment to interview her for one of my tales of transition. 

Her personal story is one of those that tears your heart, but this gutsy lady has p0ut the first half of life behind her and is making her own way through the second half  and this business is her soul’s sustenance. 

As a single Mom with kids to educate she had gone to work for the first time in retail about 9 years ago and discovered that she had a real knack for color and dealing with people.  She didn’t know a thing about knitting, but she learned a lot working for someone else in a small shop.  

A few years later life threw her another curve ball that ended her job and the eventual bailout came in the form of a loan from a friend to order some yarn. When she found the empty milk house she knew it was the perfect home for her new venture. 

The first four years the business thrived and she learned as she went along.  Mayville is located in a seasonal area on Lake Chautauqua in an area of Western NY that is primarily agricultural for 8 months of the year.  Located about 20 miles from Erie, PA and 45 miles from Buffalo, it’s a challenge to earn a living once the summer folks go home but Susan has made it work.  During the off-season, local knitters get together at the homey shop to work together and Monday Knit Night is an opportunity to come learn the basics or improve skills in a fun environment.  

Susan says the best part of her business is the people she meets and the fun of playing with the colorful yarns.  She admits to not knowing much about running a small retail business at first but insists that it can be learned on the job.  

The best perk is that she takes Thursdays off to babysit her granddaughter but, like most of us, health insurance is her biggest problem as a sixty-two yr old.   She had hoped to start paying back the loan this year, but a troubled economy has reduced her sales and she’s brainstorming some ways to increase business over the fall and winter by doing craft shows and developing more of an internet- based business.  

But these are challenges that this mid-lifer is up to.   She believes that the best part of life is that there is always something new out there to create.   So although The Yarn Cottage is not a complete success after 4 years, she is earning a living from it, has learned a lot about running a small biz and even more importantly, has done it all herself and for Susan that is priceless.     

Wow - pay attention - this is your Mother speaking!  When that popping in your ears and the scratchy little cough doesn’t go away after a couple of weeks, do something about it!   I’m the queen of the, “Oh it will get better by itself” club so when the flu I had a month ago dragged on in a slightly annoying way, I ignored it.  But after a couple of scary episodes of dizzyness and almost fainting, I took myself to the doctor.

Turns out I have a deep-seated viral congestion in my sinuses and lungs and it still makes me very tired.  So now I’m taking a vast assortment of things for at least 10 days to get rid of it.  They are starting to help though, so I’m going to work diligently to catch up with my blog posts and newsletters.    Take care of yourselves out there…

After nine weeks at CHQ, Dad was very ready to return to his retirement home, friends and familiar routines by the first of September so I took him back to Pittsburgh and then returned to the lake house for a week of peaceful aloneness with just a dash of fun with some friends and neighbors there.

The weather that had been chilly and damp all summer suddenly turned absolutely gorgeous and I thoroughly enjoyed long walks, blueberry picking, hiking in a nearby ancient forest and late night forays to watch the International Space Station and the US Shuttle race across the starlit sky. It was so great that I was easily persuaded to stick around for a second week.

My first class (a workshop I’m teaching on Don’t Retire; Re-Inspire! was scheduled to start on the next Tuesday so I had to leave no later than Sunday. It was with regret that I packed up the cottage and shut everything down for the winter there.

My son called while I was driving home and offered to feed me dinner if I came to their house for a reunion with the grandsons so I looked forward to a fun evening. About an hour after I arrived however I received a phone call that my Dad had been taken to the ER with abdominal pains. His doctor called the next morning to report a gallbladder attack and impending plans to do surgery to remove it.

Even though this is a simple procedure these days, any medical intervention for a 93 year old has serious implications so I taught my first class and then drove straight back 5 hours worth of turnpike to be with him.

Four days of sitting in a hospital, and all that entails started to really take the edge off my end of summer serenity. After getting him back to his home and arranging for help from the assisted living team there, I headed back to my own home feeling more exhausted than I’ve felt in a long time.

By yesterday, I realized that I wasn’t just tired – a fever, sore throat and throbbing headache let me know that I am now sick with some sort of flu – I really don’t care at the moment which one it is.

So I’ve had to cancel my class tonight and am confined to quarters on a liquid diet laced with Tylenol and decongestants. Seems to be some sort of payback for taking that two-week vacation…..hmmm

But, that is life, isn’t it? No matter how well we plan or what we intend, sometimes life just gets in the way. Many of us have gotten to an age where if one of the kids doesn’t need something, one of the parents might.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work on our dreams or do things for ourselves – it does mean that we need to be prepared for a change of plans and remember to keep a sense of humor. And sometimes be prepared to pay for the good times….

OK, so those of you who are regulars have noticed that the blog posts have been really rare this summer and now the September newsletter is at least one week late.   What’s going on?   Where’s Jane?  A couple of people have even expressed concern for my health and welfare.   Well here’s the deal…

Remember when you were a kid and the first day of school loomed sometime around Labor Day and there was just no avoiding it?    Then as adults, some of us became teachers and we actually had to go back at least one week earlier in order to be ready for the students to appear.  Well, this year, I just decided that I was not going “back to school” on time.  I wanted to stretch it as long as I could.

I mean, I am 62, semi-retired and gosh darn it, I want to be lazy and unmotivated for a while!

Once again I spent the summer with my 94 year old Father at our family’s summer place on a lake in Western NY state.  It is located in a resort of sorts where the days are super-scheduled with interesting lectures from well-known public figures, writers, politicians and scientists.  In addition, there are musical and theatrical performances every night and in-between you can choose to take a course on anything that interests you in a catalog of hundreds of classes.   And then there is sailing, golf, tennis and just plain sitting on the porch. (If you want to know more the website is below.)

For those of us who are curious and life-long learners  it is a dream vacation, but after nine weeks of constant intellectual challenges and cultural experiences, I was ready for a rest.  I took Dad back to his retirement home and decided to settle in for two weeks of peace and quiet and just plain doing nothing that I didn’t want to.  From endless walks in the woods and along the shoreline to spending a couple of rainy days just swinging on the porch and reading an entire books at one sitting, it has been heavenly.

In between, I’ve read all of my favorite writers’ blog posts, re-read Barbara Winter’s newly revised book (see previous post), investigated numerous web-sites devoted to Boomer lifestyles and soaked it all up like a sponge.  I was determined not to think the words, “I haven’t got time for this…”   I just took the time.

One of my favorite hangouts in Chautauqua County is The Book Store - a used book Shangri-la.   I picked up a bagful of good reads the other day and one of them is by my favorite columnist and commentator on  American life, Anna Quindlen.  She says,  “Downtime is where we become ourselves, looking into the middle distance, kicking at the curb, lying on the grass or sitting on the stoop and staring at the tedious blue of the summer sky.”    She is talking about kids today who never have time to stop and just be who they are, but one of the reasons our kids are like that is because we, as adults, are like that.

We are over-programmed, over-scheduled, and over-entertained with constant TV, Ipod music, email and internet news stories.  We leave no time to just BE and then we wonder why we are so hassled, hurried and frantic all the time.

Now that I’ve had my two weeks I feel calmer and I have thought through some of my goals for the fall and revised my business plan.  I know everyone cannot just pack up and go somewhere - I am indeed fortunate to have this haven to retreat to.  But, I have resolved to take at least a couple of hours a day once I’m home to just be quiet in some way. 

Walking in the park while thinking qualifies as multi-tasking I believe.  I’m going to try to perfect my ability to do that and hope you can too.   You might be surprised at the ideas that occur to you once you allow your mind to just roam through nothingness if even for only 30 minutes a day. Try stretching your vacation a little…

The website for The Chautauqua Institution is http://www.ciweb.org

How many times have you wondered what it would be like to have your own little business venture?  How often have you thought “I could do that…”?  How many ideas have you discarded because you decided they were silly or someone else told you they wouldn’t be viable?  

 If you aren’t already acquainted with Barbara Winter then you have missed some of the best inspiration for entrepreneurs out there.   And, as of yesterday, the new revised edition of her classic book, Making a Living without a Job is available everywhere.  

This new updated edition includes conversation about earning income in a chaotic economy, ways to use the internet and social networking to build a business, and how to leave your employee mindset behind.  I recommend buying this book to anyone who has ever given two minutes worth of day dream to doing something for themselves.  

Barbara has been my mentor and has more years than she would like me to tell of successfully marketing her own business without spending mega bucks.  Her philosophy is a marvelous combination of “keep it simple” and “just do it” that she shares with humor and contagious enthusiasm.      

You can order your copy today from my web-site bookstore (look in the career information category) or pick it up at your local book store.   

Well, it is now Friday of sailing lessons week and my class of 8 women will celebrate our success this week with a long sail on a much larger boat this afternoon.

After my fiasco on Monday (see previous post), I asked to spend the rest of the week on a larger boat where I could concentrate on learning the mechanics of rudder and sail and jib without the constant fear of capsizing. The staff accommodated me even though that is not how they normally teach this class.

Falling in the water was not the problem. It was the realization that I no longer have the agility or upper body strength to turn the boat back over and haul myself back aboard.  If there had been a videocam out there on Monday, I would win the America’s Funniest Videos contest hands down! Moral of the story - #1 start doing some strength training, and #2 don’t let the physical effects of aging stop you from doing what you want to do - find a way.

So after three days of tacking, reaching, beating and running (all different positions of the sail), I know that I can now rent a small craft at the lake at home and enjoy an afternoon of sailing and that was my goal.

The amazing thing about this class was to watch 8 women, most of whom had never sailed, master all the new skills they needed over the course of the week.  On Monday, we were all going every which way and I was not the only one to capsize.  On Tuesday, we were still pretty scattered and, due to a very cloudy, gusty day, some of the girls did not want to go back out when we gathered on Wednesday.

But the instructors were encouraging and firm and the weather turned lovely and all eight of us had a good fun day finally beginning to understand what we were supposed to do.  We pretty much stayed together and followed the course and returned to shore 2 hours later with smiles.

Yesterday, you could just feel that everyone felt much more confident and were determined to go out and get it right.  And it worked.  We all sailed in a group, followed the course and returned to the dock with no incidents.  It was a real moment of triumph! They all said that everything they had learned just clicked together in their brains at once.

The instructors said that they love watching this happen.  Every group, regardless of age or experience, goes through the same process. In the course of just 4 days they overcome fears and insecurities and push themselves beyond their previous limits to experience something new and thrilling.

My brother and sister-in-law are arriving on Monday for a few days and I can’t wait to go out with them.   He’s a long-time sailor and probably won’t notice, but I know that I’ll feel much more confident and sure  than I’ve ever been as his crew and maybe he’ll let me take over for a while.       Mission accomplished!

This is too good to pass up.   You know how I’m always encouraging all of you to step out of your rut to try something new or learn something different or just get out there and do something fun?  

Well, I’m going to set a good example this week by taking a refresher sailing class.  I’ve always sailed several times a year with family and friends, but I’m usually part of the crew and just follow directions.  

I want to learn how to sail myself and to understand the theory and practice.  It’s a five day class and yesterday was the first lesson.   Yes, I am the oldest in the class by about 20 years - 4 20-somethings and 3 40-somethings.  But, hey I can do this. After an hour or so of classroom explanations of boat parts and wind dynamics, we put on our life vests and proceeded to the dock.  For the first lesson we would each sail a Sunfish with the staff circling us in a power boat to help out or rescue if need be.   

Now, I sailed one of these tiny little boats when I was a youngster here and I remembered it as a real thrill.  There is no better way to learn the relationship of wind and sail - there is just one small sail and a rudder.  This was going to be fun!    

What I failed to realize is that I’ve grown a lot since I was twelve and in order to sail one of these little crafts, I would have to stay bent over most of the time in order to see where I was going without getting whacked in the head by the boom.  I also had forgotten the cantankerous winds on this lake and after a great 20 minute straight sail across the water, I attempted to tack back the other direction and promptly capsized when a puff came out of nowhere!  

The sail center staff arrived to help me turn it upright and I set off to try again.  I hate to admit that I ended up in the water a second time about 30 minutes later but I was laughing both times.  Capsizing is a valuable lesson in sailing.   I headed for the dock to end the first lesson very wet and very tired.  But, I’m going back today and I’ll get a bigger boat to play with.    Stay tuned….

One of Stanley Kunitz’s best-loved poems is titled, “The Layers”. I remember reading this in a college lit class but back then it was just one more assignment.  Now that I’ve experienced four more decades of life it has new meaning.   It is a lengthy poem written toward the end of his life that reflects on the passage of time and milestones.

 But this one line, “Live in the layers, not on the litter” really struck home with me when I heard it recited this past week.   Kunitz is a gardener and his reference (I think) is to the process of composting that occurs in nature.  The leaves, twigs and branches fall to the floor of the forest where they decompose to form layer upon layer of rich, loamy soil. The metaphor for life is that all our experiences and life stages - good and bad - litter the forest that is our life and  decompose to create our personal history.

 His directive to “live in the layers” suggests that we accept it all as part of the whole, and don’t let the litter cloud the days ahead of us.  Consider failures, disappointments and challenges along with the successes and  joyful times as part of the soil that supports you.  

Don’t continue to live on the litter, let it become part of the whole.

 To read the complete poem, go to http://tinyurl.com/nyqbqq 

In the last 20 years or so, it has become common for people to change careers multiple times but a newer phenomenon is earning a living from multiple careers at the same time.

An article in the WSJ discussed boomers who have Slash Careers.   These are folks who spend a good part of their free time pursuing a passion, while still working at a full-time professional job.

Some examples are a lawyer who does caricature portraits on weekends; a hotel manager who writes mysteries in his off hours; or an English professor who sells her summer travel photography through local galleries.

Another recent article called them Portfolio Professionals and a third used the term Eclectic Professionals. An example would be a teacher who spends the summer doing different jobs that reflect her personal interests or to gain experience in a different field.  And I know a man who is a stock broker by day and a Wine Expert who stages wine tastings several nights a week.

You don’t have to be a professional to have a Slash career.  A story in the Philadelphia Inquirer told of a local man who loves to make independent films and documentaries, but who works intermittently as a longshoreman on the docks to earn income to pay bills and put his daughter through college.

An acquaintance of mine is a very successful executive consultant who always dreamed of being in the opera.  Now she works part-time in the evenings as an extra for the local Opera Company, dressing up in fabulous costumes, wigs and make-up to strut and dance her way around the stage.

If you are daydreaming of doing something new and different to earn your living, you are certainly not alone.   And the need to create additional streams of income is growing for many.  There are very few rules anymore- feel free to start working on an old dream, a new dream, or that long-held, really big idea. Combining two disparate careers is definitely possible.   There are no limits to what you can do!

Remember when you were a little kid out on the porch in the evening and some grownup said, “oh, there’s the first star – quick make a wish?”   We asked for things like red bicycles, baseball mitts, and dolls.   And those things often appeared on our birthday or as a holiday gift.

I’ve been holding conversations with groups of adults over 50 around the topic of what they are going to do in the next phase of their life, and I find a lot of people start their answer with the words, “I wish……”

For the most part, these are folks who have spent the last 30 years living in the same area, employed in the same career and working hard just to maintain the status quo of their lives.  They haven’t had the opportunity to try to make any major changes so they can’t quite imagine how to start.

At a presentation for The Transition Network here, author Carol Saline (Mothers and Daughters) talked about the many transitions of her life.  She suggested an approach for career and life decisions that reminds us that making successful changes or transitions requires taking action. She calls it FOOFY and I like her philosophy.

•    “Get your Foot in the door
•    When Opportunity knocks, just do it
•    When Opportunity doesn’t come calling, send out invitations
•    If you believe in something Fight for it
•    Just say Yes – never let the fear of failure hold you back!”

Wishing for a different life gets us nowhere until we start doing.

In a conversation over the weekend I discovered that an acquaintance previously served on the Board of an organization I would love to be associated with professionally.

I discovered this only because when she asked “what have you been up to?”,  I didn’t hesitate to state clearly what my immediate goals are.   If I had said that I was just “busy trying to build my business” the opportunity would have passed right by.

She offered to provide an introduction to some current board and staff members and suggested an approach to getting involved with them.

I need to polish my resume and pull together a proposal to present within a week or so and that’s going to require putting in some extra hours, but I can’t ignore this “knocking” on my door.

What have you found yourself wishing for lately?  It’s time to turn some of those thoughts into real concrete ideas and apply the FOOFY principles to your efforts.   Paying attention to opportunities and taking even small actions are the first steps to success.