Life & Work By Design Blog

 I confess up front that I am one of those crass people who continues to drink my coffee even after it has become stone cold.  Based on that, many would say that I have nothing of worth to say about coffee shops.  But, since I spend an inordinate amount of time working, reading, lounging and just sitting in and around independent cafes I do have some opinions on the subject. There are many varieties and types but a cafe’s popularity with me does not depend as much on the coffee as the ambiance.  The size of the tables, comfort of the chairs, amount of available light, availability of outside seating, and of course, free Wi-Fi are all much higher on my scoring chart. But what I like about all coffee shops is that aside from the obvious, unnamed large chains, every one is different and truly reflects something about the personality of its owner(s). It’s still one small business where you can express yourself in the music, decor, menu and theme.

Owning a coffee shop is one of the three most popular small business concepts  - the other two are spas and animal-related businesses.  Now, think about all three.  What do they have in common? They are things that almost everyone likes to participate in -drinking coffee, getting a facial, and playing in the park with the dog.  What could be better?  That’s the problem. Just because you enjoy doing something does not necessarily mean that you will enjoy owning a business that provides those things to other people.I have a good friend, Theresa, who decided she wanted to be a coffee barista.  She quit her job in the nursing field and plunked down a hefty 6-figure sum to buy an existing coffee house in a planned community shopping center.  The previous owner had no personality, no sense of decor or ambiance, was frequently surly and rude, and yet had kept the place open for almost a year. Theresa knew that she could do better.  I was thrilled to meet her and became a regular customer in short order. But, in less than 9 months, it had a For Sale sign on the door! 

She sent me an e-mail about two weeks later entitled, “Lessons Learned” and asked that I share it with other small business wannabes. My clients know that I stress two things in my coaching.  The first is to be realistic about what you want your life to be like on a daily basis, and the second is to always get as much information and training as you can find on the venture you are considering. The first mistake Theresa and her husband made was not to learn all they could about the legalities of buying an existing business in a rented space.  As it turned out, the seller had no right to sell them the lease. This ended up being a huge, expensive and eventually fatal mistake that really caused the closing of the cafe.But as they were wrestling with this problem, another more important one cropped up. Theresa found after about 90 days that she really hated being a barista and resented every minute that she was forced to stay at the cafe.   Here is her list of reasons as she evaluated her experience:

•  I like to drink lattes not serve them
•  I am a people person and I like people but not all people are likeable and some are downright annoying
•  I am a magnet for people needing to talk, vent, discuss their problems, discuss their ailments, frustrations with work, frustrations with their spouses, frustrations with themselves, lonely older folks - you name it - they feel very comfortable sharing all with me! It’s exhausting!
• I can make a coffee house successful or at least a popular place but my shortcoming is cost management.  I didn’t learn enough ahead of time about the business side
•  I am a morning person but only after 6:30 am!
•  I thought a “family” business would be fun and did not realize that the only time I would get to spend with my family was at the business.
•  I am not cut out to run a small business like this because I would always have to be hands on and would not trust anyone else to do the majority of the work. Thus I have to work a 10-12 hour day.
• You should always work a business before buying, carefully check financials, never trust a seller and have a lawyer do all the documents
• I made a damn good latte and cappuccino
• Cell phone users can be obnoxious
• Many people have a highly inflated view of their own self-importance
•  There are a lot of wonderful people out there who are incredibly generous and kind
•  My family is pretty terrific and incredibly supportive of me.“The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.”

Notice that about half the problems are business-related due to their lack of experience and training, and the other half are lifestyle related - even though her teenage children came in and helped after school in the afternoons, by then she couldn’t wait to leave so her time with them was actually less. The happy ending for Theresa is that her former employer was eager to have her come back and she leveraged her absence into a pay raise. What she hadn’t noticed until she lost it was that her job allowed her the freedom to move around town all day on a schedule that she was in control of; at least a couple days a week her assignments were done by about 3 pm allowing her to go home and do things with the kids; she was always home in time to help prepare dinner and enjoy it with the whole family. In other words, she had self-controlled flexibility and freedom to make her daily life work well. Most importantly, in her job as a nurse who helps hospital patients make the move to the appropriate re-hab or nursing facility, she goes home every day knowing that she has improved life for at least a couple of people in a very real way. She now knows her true calling.  She and I meet for coffee on a regular basis.

I have a long list of artistic skills that I want to work on some day but even though I haven’t found the time to learn how to actually do them, I enjoy seeing other artists’ creations. Hand-woven fabrics are one of my absolute favorites and I had an opportunity this past weekend to sit and watch a woman dressed in Revolutionary garb weave a table runner on a floor loom at a local festival.

 As I watched, it occurred to me that our lives are much like her weaving.  Woven cloth is made up of two elements - the warp and the weft. The warp is a series of long threads, yarns or strings that are affixed to the loom and run continuously through the length of the cloth and are generally all the same. The weft are other fibers, which may be absolutely anything, that are woven in between the warp threads in a variety of patterns.  Often the weft is a different color, a different thickness or a variety of different fibers, strings or yarns.  In weaving projects that are created as art for hanging, other elements such as feathers, buttons, sticks, ribbons or wires may be used. 

Then I realized that I have been changing the texture of the weaving that is my life in the last few years.  The warp threads that hold me together are my family members and long-time friends, my spirituality, my ethics and moral code, my love of learning, my eternal optimism, my independence and even my stubbornness.  These will always be the basis of my life.  But, I have been adding a lot of new weft yarns in recent years.

First I created a couple of holes with some hard but important personal decisions, but they are hardly noticeable now. Then I changed the background color by moving to a new locale and home; I’ve added lots of interesting buttons and beads in the form of new acquaintances and friends; there was a short strand of color for a JOB that turned out to be all wrong for me, but that has been replaced by rows of thick, lush brightly colored yarn that represent a new direction for my life’s work. There is a sparkly golden thread starting to appear for a new romantic relationship. There are a few feathers for travel and adventure opportunities, and a scattering of sequins for a whole new set of goals and dreams.  Suddenly, the fabric of my life is colorful and interesting again!

How about you?  Has the fabric of your life become a monotonous pattern in pale colors?  Think about hanging it up on the wall.  Is it a work of art to show?

There are so many ways to add interest to your weaving.  Join a new hobby group; take a class; explore a neighboring city; spend two hours in the library just browsing whatever catches your eye; take the time to set some new goals; make a decision to change something that is toxic for you.

Create a vibrant new pattern - you can do that - and you might discover new things about your self in the process.

You will notice a theme running through a lot of my writing about changing the course of your life - it is the process of designing.   As an undergrad, I minored in Architectural Design which meant planning the spaces that make up a building or a home. The goal was to design a home with the most useable space for the least cost. Later, I moved into the specialty of kitchen design which requires a practical approach to how a kitchen is arranged. The priorities in kitchen design are adequate, orderly storage and the ability to move around the food preparation area efficiently. 

 This field appealed to me since I seem to have a natural gift for organization and an innate interest in understanding how various elements of things relate to each other.  I have a very practical nature and approach changes in a sensible, orderly manner.

When I decided to change careers and work to help people find a happier and more meaningful way to live, I named my web-site Life & Work By Design for a reason.  Designing a home or a kitchen requires following a step-by-step process and I believe that changing our life course does also. Continue Reading »