Life and Work by Design Blog

I had to choose between three possible places to be last weekend.   An internet marketing event in Stamford, CT; a Barbara Winter seminar in Dodge City, KS; and a National Speakers Association workshop 5 minutes away from my home.

Every one of the experts at these events is worth traveling a distance to hear, and all three events were about topics important to growing my business.

A trip to CT would allow me to see a group of old friends, and going to KS would mean finally meeting some cyber world friends in person.  I knew the least about the local event but I had committed to it first, and my intuition seemed to be telling me to stick with that decision.  I reluctantly did.

I know for sure that it was the least fun of the three, and from all reports I missed two other really inspiring events.  But that Saturday morning I had a V-8 for my business.

One of the hardest things about developing a new business idea is figuring out what it is you don’t know.  The only way you can do that is to put yourself out there in places where you can observe and learn and meet people who know what you don’t.

The speaker I listened to intently last Saturday not only knew lots of things that I didn’t, but he was eager to share and taught well.  And a couple of contacts I made there have resulted in networking connections to a group of service providers who are interested in hiring me to do training for their employees.

Yep, I chose the can of  V-8 instead of the fun, bubbly soda but my business will benefit.  I would have picked up great ideas at either of the other events also. You have to make choices some times – trust your instincts to tell you which ones are best.

I attended a journal writing workshop a couple of weeks ago that conjured up some old memories.    The leader would pose a topic and then give us 10 minutes to write about it.  This is a classic way to get in the habit of writing about your life, feelings, events and people and I never grow tired of doing it.

On this particular evening, one of her topics was The Kitchen.   Instantly I remembered an incident from my childhood.   I was about six years old and had a 1950 style page-boy haircut.  Mother would keep my bangs trimmed in between trips to the beauty salon so on this day, she had put a pot of applesauce on the stove in a pressure cooker, and then sat me up on a stool and draped my shoulders with a towel.

As she was snipping away, the pot on the stove began to whistle as the steam built up inside (they are supposed to do that) but suddenly, something went wrong and the lid flew off and hot applesauce exploded all over the stove, walls and even the ceiling!  (They are not supposed to do that!)

Fortunately we were far enough away that we were not spattered but to a little girl it was a terrifying experience that I’ve never forgotten.  As a result, I have never used a pressure cooker and on two occasions when I encountered one on someone else’s stove, I quickly left the room.   I have assumed that they malfunction and are dangerous when in fact, although they have gone out of style, they were used successfully for decades on a regular basis.

I think all too often we made decisions based on incorrect assumptions.   For instance, many people assume that all small businesses are risky and often fail.  On the contrary, the SBA Advocacy office reported in 2004 that there were 24.7 million taxable business entities in the US and only 17,000 were large businesses.   And as we have recently found out, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.   And they take us with them.  Small businesses (less than 100 employees) are the heartbeat of our country.  With a good plan and determination anyone can create a successful small business.

Another assumption is that “proper education” and credentials are required to do things like teaching.  In fact, the Experience Corps is a program that finds way for people from all sorts of backgrounds and experience to share their knowledge and life skills with students in classrooms from kindergarten to high school.  A recent survey showed that students made 60% more progress with an Experience Corps tutor.

One I’ve heard a lot lately is, “I’m 63, nobody wants to hire me now.”  Wrong.  Numerous businesses realize that older workers are dependable, responsible and able to contribute wisdom that only comes with living through the decades of life. AARP    has a list of the top 100 companies who actively seek to hire older adults.   Being “too old” after 60 is an incorrect assumption in the 21st century.

Don’t miss an opportunity because you are assuming that you know all about it.  Ask….investigate….try it out…..don’t let past experience or outdated information stop you from discovering a bright new future.

You’d think that by this time I would have realized there’s one thing you can count on – something changing when you least expect it.

My life was in pretty good order finally.

Comfortable, affordable place to live in a walking community
Proximity to my children, the grandkids and my Dad
Wonderful circle of fun, interesting and supportive friends
Good health and a relatively stress-free life
Work that challenges and excites me

That’s what I set out to create almost 10 years ago – it’s been a challenging journey and an exercise in learning and growing that I’m glad I embarked on.  And for the last year or so, I have been feeling very settled and happy with my lot in life.

But something was missing and I knew it but I wasn’t ready to work on that part yet.  I was still perfecting just being an authentic me – I couldn’t imagine another person’s place in this new life.

Ah, but the Universe conspires for our best interests  - we just fail to notice sometimes.

He is an acquaintance from 4 years ago -a connection that was lost - but call it what you will, Fate laughed and walked him right back into my life.   And this time I couldn’t’ help but pay attention.

I did an exercise with some friends a while back of describing my idea of a perfect soul mate complete with a physical description.  I really did think about what kind of person I would want to share my life with and described his traits, interests, talents and physical appearance.

You know that old adage, be careful what you wish for?   Well, if you doubt the power of setting intentions and visioning, I suggest you think again.  If you read that “letter to the universe” and met my “Sweetie” you would be astounded!

So I’m learning to adjust again.  Learning to set boundaries on my work hours to allow time to share part of my life.  Learning to juggle priorities to include kids, grandkids, a parent and a romance.  Learning to just let myself be in a moment and to focus on another person.      Lovely……

My daughter called one day last week.  She is 32 and lives in New York City.  She was laid off in March from her job as an editor at a PR design firm.  This is the third time she has lost a job through no fault of her own and of course, in NYC, jobs are scarce.    So, having established a good reputation and a lot of connections, she thought she would try free-lancing for a while.

Of course I encouraged her since I know that she is organized, is better than most people at planning ahead, and is well disciplined when she wants to do something.   But I didn’t think about one aspect of her delightful personality.  She lives in New York because she is a high energy, fast-moving urban type of gal.

“I don’t know how you stand this!”  She sounded like an 8 on a scale of 10 for misery.  “How do I stand what?”  I asked.   “Staying at home alone all day….”    Oh, that.  I laughed out loud.  I had offered lots of advice on how to find jobs, had sent her several links for helpful websites, and was offering lots of cheerleading about how well she could do.  I mean, I am her proud mother, ok?

What I hadn’t done was clue her in to my “work at home” success tips.  Even though I don’t mind being at home alone, I do have to get out just like anyone else.  I plan my work in 3 -4 hour chunks and then take breaks to do other things like walking in the park, going to the gym, meeting friends for lunch, checking out the book store or library, and going to networking and professional events.   I also do a lot with friends in the evenings to balance my quiet days.   But I’m not sure even those tricks would help my sweet social child.

With lots of people looking for new ways to earn income, I know many are thinking of how great it would be to have a home-based business.  There are some great perks – no fancy wardrobe needed, time to exercise, ability to eat food that’s actually good for you, no sitting in traffic, etc.   But there are some requirements that need to be considered.

Here are some traits that matter:
1.    Are you self-motivated?
2.    Can you avoid distractions?
3.    Are you organized?
4.    Can you stay focused?
5.    Can you prioritize your to-do list?
6.    Are you good at managing time?
7.    Are you knowledgeable in technology?

But even if you are good at all of the above, if you are a people person who needs interaction with others, or prefer conversing with humans who will actually answer you instead of a cat who purrs regardless, working at home might not be your cup of tea.   Know thyself….   Try spending a couple of days alone working on your idea to see how it feels.

One of my favorite bloggers is Leo Babauta at Zen  Habits – his is a constant voice that reminds me about three times a week to just SLOW DOWN.

  His advice to work on just one thing until it’s done without multi-tasking can’t be repeated often enough.  His little gem of a book called The Power of Less: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essentials … in Work and in Life is an easy guidebook to a saner, less stressful life. 

  Babauta suggests lots of Zen Habits that can help us find a simple, common sense and quiet way to live and work.  Here are some of them for work:

     1. Set your 3 MITs (most important tasks) each morning. 

     2. Single-task   Focus your attention on only one thing 

     3. Zero Inbox - don’t even think about it first thing in the morning. 

     4. Process emails once a day - preferably around lunch-time.  

     5. Work while disconnected - turn off IM, Twitter, cell phone, email 

     7. Keep your desk uncluttered. 

     8. Clear and declutter one drawer, file or space for 15 min each day 

     9. Limit email answers to 5 sentences - write what you mean 

   10. Say no to commitments not on your important short list 

   11. Follow a morning routine - gratitude and meditation -5 minutes    

The very talented Leonie Allan at Goddess Guidebook has created a fun colorful poster you can print out and hang up (or download the desktop wallpaper) to keep you in a Zen frame of mind.   Visit her website to get it here