Life and Work by Design Blog

After nine weeks at CHQ, Dad was very ready to return to his retirement home, friends and familiar routines by the first of September so I took him back to Pittsburgh and then returned to the lake house for a week of peaceful aloneness with just a dash of fun with some friends and neighbors there.

The weather that had been chilly and damp all summer suddenly turned absolutely gorgeous and I thoroughly enjoyed long walks, blueberry picking, hiking in a nearby ancient forest and late night forays to watch the International Space Station and the US Shuttle race across the starlit sky. It was so great that I was easily persuaded to stick around for a second week.

My first class (a workshop I’m teaching on Don’t Retire; Re-Inspire! was scheduled to start on the next Tuesday so I had to leave no later than Sunday. It was with regret that I packed up the cottage and shut everything down for the winter there.

My son called while I was driving home and offered to feed me dinner if I came to their house for a reunion with the grandsons so I looked forward to a fun evening. About an hour after I arrived however I received a phone call that my Dad had been taken to the ER with abdominal pains. His doctor called the next morning to report a gallbladder attack and impending plans to do surgery to remove it.

Even though this is a simple procedure these days, any medical intervention for a 93 year old has serious implications so I taught my first class and then drove straight back 5 hours worth of turnpike to be with him.

Four days of sitting in a hospital, and all that entails started to really take the edge off my end of summer serenity. After getting him back to his home and arranging for help from the assisted living team there, I headed back to my own home feeling more exhausted than I’ve felt in a long time.

By yesterday, I realized that I wasn’t just tired – a fever, sore throat and throbbing headache let me know that I am now sick with some sort of flu – I really don’t care at the moment which one it is.

So I’ve had to cancel my class tonight and am confined to quarters on a liquid diet laced with Tylenol and decongestants. Seems to be some sort of payback for taking that two-week vacation…..hmmm

But, that is life, isn’t it? No matter how well we plan or what we intend, sometimes life just gets in the way. Many of us have gotten to an age where if one of the kids doesn’t need something, one of the parents might.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work on our dreams or do things for ourselves – it does mean that we need to be prepared for a change of plans and remember to keep a sense of humor. And sometimes be prepared to pay for the good times….

OK, so those of you who are regulars have noticed that the blog posts have been really rare this summer and now the September newsletter is at least one week late.   What’s going on?   Where’s Jane?  A couple of people have even expressed concern for my health and welfare.   Well here’s the deal…

Remember when you were a kid and the first day of school loomed sometime around Labor Day and there was just no avoiding it?    Then as adults, some of us became teachers and we actually had to go back at least one week earlier in order to be ready for the students to appear.  Well, this year, I just decided that I was not going “back to school” on time.  I wanted to stretch it as long as I could.

I mean, I am 62, semi-retired and gosh darn it, I want to be lazy and unmotivated for a while!

Once again I spent the summer with my 94 year old Father at our family’s summer place on a lake in Western NY state.  It is located in a resort of sorts where the days are super-scheduled with interesting lectures from well-known public figures, writers, politicians and scientists.  In addition, there are musical and theatrical performances every night and in-between you can choose to take a course on anything that interests you in a catalog of hundreds of classes.   And then there is sailing, golf, tennis and just plain sitting on the porch. (If you want to know more the website is below.)

For those of us who are curious and life-long learners  it is a dream vacation, but after nine weeks of constant intellectual challenges and cultural experiences, I was ready for a rest.  I took Dad back to his retirement home and decided to settle in for two weeks of peace and quiet and just plain doing nothing that I didn’t want to.  From endless walks in the woods and along the shoreline to spending a couple of rainy days just swinging on the porch and reading an entire books at one sitting, it has been heavenly.

In between, I’ve read all of my favorite writers’ blog posts, re-read Barbara Winter’s newly revised book (see previous post), investigated numerous web-sites devoted to Boomer lifestyles and soaked it all up like a sponge.  I was determined not to think the words, “I haven’t got time for this…”   I just took the time.

One of my favorite hangouts in Chautauqua County is The Book Store - a used book Shangri-la.   I picked up a bagful of good reads the other day and one of them is by my favorite columnist and commentator on  American life, Anna Quindlen.  She says,  “Downtime is where we become ourselves, looking into the middle distance, kicking at the curb, lying on the grass or sitting on the stoop and staring at the tedious blue of the summer sky.”    She is talking about kids today who never have time to stop and just be who they are, but one of the reasons our kids are like that is because we, as adults, are like that.

We are over-programmed, over-scheduled, and over-entertained with constant TV, Ipod music, email and internet news stories.  We leave no time to just BE and then we wonder why we are so hassled, hurried and frantic all the time.

Now that I’ve had my two weeks I feel calmer and I have thought through some of my goals for the fall and revised my business plan.  I know everyone cannot just pack up and go somewhere - I am indeed fortunate to have this haven to retreat to.  But, I have resolved to take at least a couple of hours a day once I’m home to just be quiet in some way. 

Walking in the park while thinking qualifies as multi-tasking I believe.  I’m going to try to perfect my ability to do that and hope you can too.   You might be surprised at the ideas that occur to you once you allow your mind to just roam through nothingness if even for only 30 minutes a day. Try stretching your vacation a little…

The website for The Chautauqua Institution is http://www.ciweb.org